Where there
is anger, there will always be pain underneath - Echart Tolle
Your mind is
like this water, my friend. When it is agitated, it becomes difficult to see.
But if you allow it to settle, the answer becomes clear - Oogway
Anger
kills joy. It is wisely said that you only harm one person when you are angry,
and that is you. Why do we get angry?
When someone
says something that hurts our feelings and makes us feel we are no longer in
control of the situation.
When your
desires are not fulfilled, when self-esteem is harmed.
Anger comes by
itself. It is a natural response, an expression of the pain that you are
suffering from. Sometimes the word comes in tears when you think you can’t do
anything. However, if you feel you have any power to retaliate, the expression
comes out in a burst of anger. Most of us cannot control it. We are always
asked to control it. But then it becomes a misery.
How much anger
is healthy?
How and to what
extent can we prevent it?
Is there a way
to avoid it?
Why do you think
you can control it?
Well, it’s not
easy at all. But there is a way you can minimize the damage caused by it.
Damage? To whom?
Yes, the damage
occurs to yourself only. The fight goes on in your mind only. Others are not
aware of it. You make others aware of it by saying something back which hurts
them. This results in fights. Fights, in which everybody loses—especially the
angrier ones. Uncontrolled emotions can destroy the world. Especially your
world. Think about it.
The first way to
improve and gain control is by understanding what made you angry. It is
primarily a situation where you have lost control over your self-esteem or
emotion. Think about it.
Why does it
happen?
Who said those
words?
Sit back and
don’t move. Let it pass., let the storm pass, and keep observing your thoughts
and emotions without reacting.
What will happen
if you don’t do it?
Well, either you
will respond in a way that will harm you or others. It will permanently scar
your condition, self-worth, or reputation. So, observe your thoughts and
emotions until you understand you have been hurt. Detach yourself from those
feelings. Realize that you can survive without that image you created earlier
for yourself and have been torn by somebody to hurt you.
It is hard work.
It isn’t easy, and most people fall prey to it.
To preserve your
integrity and your peace of mind. You will not let it leave a permanent mark.
You will not let it define you. But you, my friend, will find your way to deal
with it.
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