Chapter 5 - Jealousy

 

He who envies others does not obtain peace of mind - Buddha

Jealousy is a complex emotion to deal with. It both triggers anger and guilt and confuses us about our self-worth. You will compare a person’s possessions ( health, wealth, relationships, knowledge) to yours. It will induce the emotion of being behind in the race of life, decrease your self-confidence, trigger anger, and finally, may start feeling bad about having all these emotions.

It is all a play between EGO and instinctual drive. Ego tells you to be a good person, and instinctual drive asks you to cheat while nobody is watching. This creates a conflict, and conflicts are never comfortable.

A war is going on inside, and the only person who will get harmed is you because you are fighting yourself. It would be best if you tried to resolve most of your conflicts to live a peaceful life. Here we have to learn the art of letting go.

When you desire something, you feel a strong urge to get it. We stop thinking about the journey one has to take to reach it. We also stop thinking about the journey that other people would have taken and the hard work that person would have put in to achieve what he has today.

To answer the emotion of jealousy, you will have to let go of the desire to possess these things in the immediate future. Then, it would help if you tried to realize the amount of work required to achieve these things.

In the case of a loving relationship, you may not get the same person even when you try as much as you can. In such situations, you should let go of the person of desire and realize that other similar options should be available.

In saying all this, I also understand your condition and feelings. Dealing with jealousy will not be easy for you or the person you are jealous of. It would help if you understood that is a normal emotion every person on this earth has.

Your ego will say you are terrible because you are jealous. You have to become compassionate towards yourself and feel normal. It will make things easier for you.

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