Chapter 9 - Fear

 

The biggest fear of man is to become himself - Batman begins

Everybody is running after the perfect life. Everybody wants a college degree, a well-paying job, a trophy like a husband or a wife, respect in society, a house, and vehicles. All these things are called materialistic success. They are essential as modern man can only stay away from these things for a short time.

The problem arises when you start compromising on more valuable things in return. These more valuable things are your health, Loving and meaningful relationships, self-worth, your honesty with yourself and others.

The reason for this bargain is comparison. You see others having more than you, and you feel jealous. With upgrading technology, the problem is increasing. All social media and its marketing are built around your feeling of self-worth.

The people in business know that to make you buy something you don’t need, they must first develop your need. The first step in marketing is making the customer realize that they don’t have the product being sold.

Toothpaste ads will tell you your teeth are not white enough; detergents will say to you your clothes are not clean enough, and beauty product ads will show you that you don’t look like the model they recruited.

They will not tell you that this model suffers from anorexia nervosa due to her dieting. They spend 4 hours a day in the gym and the rest of the time caring for their skin. Undergo many plastic surgeries. Deal with a lot of mental trauma to get this look. They struggle in the rest of the blocks of their life in which they are doing good.

They will show you ads of cars with female models to take advantage of your loneliness and lust. Your brain won’t perceive this is happening. You will spend a lot unnecessarily and make wrong financial decisions to fulfill your emotions. People will label you stupid, but these people will also fall prey to some of these traps.

They will take advantage of your poverty and make false promises to you. They will offer you dreams of becoming rich in a few days or months and make you buy programs/ courses. Most people end up losing money and blaming themselves for their failure.

You will compete in school to become a topper. If you don’t succeed, you will live your life thinking that you are not good enough. Students pay a hefty amount of tuition fees in coaching classes and, in the end, blame themselves for being lazy if they do not get desired results.

The list of such things is endless. If you reach the top, you will meet people who used all sorts of unfair means to win. Corruption is present in everything, whether studying in schools or colleges, finding jobs, or doing business.

Most people fall prey to the system and give up their pure hearts and honesty to become part of it. You will bribe, cheat and take advantage of people experiencing poverty. The only thing that will make you do all this is fear.

Fear of judgment, failure, and not being accepted in society. Humankind has developed a habit of becoming a part of something bigger than itself.

We feel small and powerless when we are alone. Everybody wants prefix and suffix names attached to their names in the form of degrees and posts. Everybody wants to be part of a bigger organization which makes them feel accomplished. Everybody is afraid.

Everybody wants to find a loving spouse, but it adds many complications. First, the other person you want to be in a relationship with has to look good. Looking good here means fitting into the stereotype society has created. Then your parents will tell you that you must adjust to your emotions. You can select only among a few people due to religious and cast based restrictions. After this will come the difference between monetary status and whatnot. You will end up with only one or two options to choose from. You will eventually hate your spouse and parents if things don’t turn out well. Most people end up lonely, feeling stupid, and broke.

Only a few of us win the so-called race to realize they did not get what they sought. This feeling makes them indulge in drugs to numb their loneliness and despair. The drugs and alcohol calm their nerves for a duration. But the need for increased dose and decreased effect worsens over time.

It is time you realize all this is happening and tries to open your eyes to find the answer "Why you were given this life." It must not be about winning or losing in a race you don’t want.

The question should be answered, as nature does not create things without purpose. It evolves itself, and evolution depends on the curiosity of nature to find the need and correct it.

You must understand that you are a part of this nature and universe. You have to find your place and purpose to exist rather than just following the crowd. Stay away from going after something you don’t even know if you want.

To come out of the race, you have to unlearn what has been told to you by the world since childhood. You don’t have to fit yourself into the stereotypical image of a successful person.

You have to find the things that bring joy to you.

It is not about money or status but what makes you feel like you can do this all day without boredom.

There will be no corruption if everybody does what they love to do. Whether you earn out of it or not will matter to you. - Jiddu Krishnamurti